Well I begin by saying its awesome to be here for yet another Holiday season and in less than 2 weeks another birthday . Getting closer to being 50 , who would have thought . I was so busy being gay out and partying 25 years ago I forgot most of it, But I do remember the friends I have had the lovers and boyfriends I had . I was always the safe one , shy . Give me 3 drinks and that was out the window .
Then losing friend after friend to this disease, caring for them , I mean watching each of them clinging for their lives . Then automatically the feeling the guilt being alive . errrrrrrrrr I have to shake that off because that alone can make me lose it.
All the treatments and pills I take , I am still the lucky one , for once my low self esteem kept me alive, ha my shrink would love that one . When I was raped I shut up and shut off .I blame me for not being cautious with him. he would have the upper hand yet and it happened anyway . Not smart and not what I wanted to happen. my life now is trying to stay alive trying to make a difference no matter how big or how small I plan to make a difference . This blog was my first idea to bring my life to the blog and hope someone reads it and pays attention to whats going on out there .. Keep yourself and whomever your with safe from this horrendous disease.
I really wasn't wanting to write about this but it came through me and wanted to be said . I was going to bitch about wasting and getting fat in only one area . Time for that later. I hope you all enjoy each other ,Love each other . reach to the univesrse with your arms its all yours , don't waste it. Brightest Blessings.
IF ANYONE YOU KNOW OR IF YOU HAVE BEEN ABUSED , SEXUALLY, MENTALLY . PLEASE CALL THE GAY MANS HEALTH CRISIS CENTER .I HAVE A LINK HERE FOR YOU ! GET HELP , ITS NOT YOUR FAULT . GETTING ABUSED BY SOMEONE IS A CRIME .PLEASE GET SOME HELP ITS OUT THERE ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS MAKE A CALL..PLEASE YOUR TO IMPORTANT NOT TO....
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